Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Pool Incident

While Josh "worked," ( by work I mean talk to his boyfriends on the phone and watch all of the college sports drama on ESPN) in the afternoons, I went to the pool at our lovely hotel.
Here it is


Nice, right.
When I first arrived at the pool the gate was open I didn't have to worry about getting in the pool, while strategically carrying 
  1. People Style Magazine
  2. Dell All-Time Favorite Variety Puzzle Book
  3. Pen
  4. Two bottles of Aquafina
  5. Apple
  6. Sunscreen
  7. Purse
I forgot pack some sort of pool bag for this trip, so I bumbled my way to the pool with all of my belongings.
When I arrived at the pool I looked for towels.  They were no where to be found, so I thought I would go into the gym and look there.  I couldn't figure out how to open the gate to get out of the pool.  I looked at both sides of the gate for hinges, and saw which side should open, but still I could not get it open.
Here is my view of the gate.

 So I decided to just sit in the sun and read my magazine.  After about a half hour sweat was dripping into my my eyes and butt has fallen asleep on the hard wood chair with no cushion, I decided to do what any good Orwig girl would do, I swam laps.  I figured since I was stuck in the pool area, I might as well make the best of it, and get my fat ass in gear.  I was also too embarrassed to call Josh and tell him I was stuck at the pool with no towel and no way out.    
Lets get back to lap swimming.  I swam when I was a kid year round and I come from a family who loves swimming (my cousin is one of the coaches for Clayton Shaw Park Masters).  I forgot what a work out swimming really is.  I could barely swim four laps without wanting to die.  I think a relay team of five year old girls who are afraid of the water would be faster than my 100m freestyle.  I did do flip turns, and bi-latteral breathing.  I also worked on my other strokes.  Breast Stroke came a little easier, that was my best stroke as a kid.  I worked on my two handed touch,  and my underwater pull.  I have know idea if any of those things are relevant in in swimming anymore.  Back stoke was a challenge because he sun was so bright, I didn't have any googles, and my hair was in my face.  I missed my swim cap.  I did not attempt a back flip turn.  Butterfly, oh butterfly I made it one lap, and that was it.  
As I was fluttering in the pool, one of the staff walked by and brought me cushion and towel.  I didn't have to make the embarrassing phone call to my husband, but there was still the gate to contend with.  I finally decided it was time to head up to the room, and wouldn't you know it a fancy couple sits down to have lunch right outside of the pool.  I walk over to the gate with all of my things listed above, and just start pulling at different hinges, locks, pulls, whatever looks like it would open this dumb gate.  I am trying to look like I know what I am doing so the fancy couple don't notice me, and think, "what an idiot."  I finally set my things down, after dropping multiple items, and got serious about this gate.  I finally notice a tall latch above the gate, that you pull up and that will open the gate.  Hallelujah, I am out!!  I am all for safety for kids at the pool, but maybe some type of sign or color coding on how to open the Fort Knox of gates would help a lady out.
I was at the pool the next day and two ladies were having the same trouble with the gate.  I thought I would would offer my extensive knowledge of the gate, and let them in.  They thought I was some type of genius for opening the gate with such ease.
Victory was mine.
Edit:
 You all might have noticed the pull latch in the picture above, if you did obviously my eyes are not as keen as yours, the reason for the puzzle book listed above.  Also, after I wrote this post I went to photograph the gate and saw this.
( excuse the haze my lens was foggy from the humidity)

Need a closer look...

So the gate is clearly marked, but it was open when I entered the pool.  
Remember my view of the gate when leaving the pool.

Victory was not mine.

6 comments:

jenb June 12, 2010 at 10:48 AM  

love it...so you

rachel @ perfectly imperfect June 12, 2010 at 3:53 PM  

hilarious. i would have yelled for help!

midwest woman June 12, 2010 at 10:11 PM  

mister I'm so sorry you got that part of my gene pool :(

carly730 June 12, 2010 at 10:20 PM  

This would for sure happen to me. I was babysitting once and had to ask the 3 year old how to get the stupid child gate open so I understand how you feel! Sounds like depsite the gate you had a nice mini vacay. :)

Cuatro-Mom June 13, 2010 at 12:17 AM  

Your first picture is beautiful all the other ones are great too but I really love the first one.....it's simple, bright, majestic, serene, and calming.....love it! It's totally my backyard, jk!! Great shot! And the gate thing is definately Orwig style, that's what we love about you girls!! Although I would have expected all of you girls to jump the fence, ha ha!

Cuatro-Mom June 13, 2010 at 12:17 AM  

Your first picture is beautiful all the other ones are great too but I really love the first one.....it's simple, bright, majestic, serene, and calming.....love it! It's totally my backyard, jk!! Great shot! And the gate thing is definately Orwig style, that's what we love about you girls!! Although I would have expected all of you girls to jump the fence, ha ha!

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